Archive for the ‘– C’ Category

Eat or Delete

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

look up the word cookie
It did used to mean
sweet crunch and chew munch
as in meals in between

but cookies now also mean
undisclosed tracky bits
sly snips of code that
will peek at your tats

index all your foibles
detect and reveal
then sell to all sellers
the size of your deal

a word that could serve
the real meaning preserve
would mean caught you red handed
here’s a word you deserve

unco-op the cookie
disclose the intention
what lives in that jar
does need our digestion

— Grumpus Wombat

“The beguiling, bewitching, beautiful E-Type Jag.”
– Jeremy Clarkson

Saturday, September 17th, 2011

I wanted an electric train for Christmas, but he (Dad) got me a saxophone. I flipped out.”
– Clarence Clemons

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

“Eschew Miserablism”
– Peter Carbonara

Friday, March 11th, 2011

“Friends! trust not the heart of that man for whom old clothes are not venerable.”
– Thomas Carlyle

Friday, March 11th, 2011

“The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.”
– WInston Churchill

Friday, March 11th, 2011

“The road to “hell yeah” is paved with ass fault.”
– Andy Caploe

Monday, November 15th, 2010

“He’s lost his Bovril”
– Jeremy Clarkson

Monday, November 15th, 2010

“I am utterly looking forward to spending my summer in close proximity to you, and I will provide you with much ale”
– Oz Clarke

Monday, November 15th, 2010

“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”
– Dick Cavett

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

“Any car which holds together for a whole race is too heavy.”
– Colin Chapman

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

“When you breathe, you inspire, and when you do not breathe, you expire.”
– Confucius

Friday, July 30th, 2010

“Sadly we don’t speak bird.”
– Kurt Cobain

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true and also fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her.”
– Winston Churchill

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“One must regard the hyphen as a blemish to be avoided whenever possible.”
– Winston Churchill

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“The real traditions of the British Navy are rum, buggery and the lash.”
– Winston Churchill

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“Adding power makes you faster on the straights. Subtracting weight makes you faster everywhere.”
– Anthony Colin Bruce Chapman

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“Simplicate, then add lightness.”
– Anthony Colin Bruce Chapman

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“I would rather play Chiquita Banana and have my swimming pool than play Bach and starve.”
– Xavier Cugat

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
– Winston Churchill

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

“Television has become predictable, vulgar and nasty.”
– Joan Collins

Monday, June 7th, 2010

“Man tends to increase at a greater rate than his means of subsistence.”
– Charles Darwin

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

“In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.”
– Charles Darwin

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

“To fix one’s car is not merely to use up time, it is to have a different experience of time, of one’s car, and of oneself.”
– Matthew B. Crawford

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

“she has one of those unplaceable accents that mark out a specific quintile of the upper-lower-upper class”
– Simon Carr

Monday, May 3rd, 2010

“Physical ills are the taxes laid upon this wretched life; some are taxed higher, and some lower, but all pay something.”
– Lord Chesterfield

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

“The old cathedrals are good, but the great blue dome that hangs over everything is better.”
– Thomas Carlyle

Monday, March 15th, 2010

“Thanks God it’s Friday.”
– Robinson Crusoe

Monday, March 15th, 2010

“Remember “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser.”
– Professor Irwin Corey

Monday, March 15th, 2010

“He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.”
– Confucius

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Decide no suit, until you have heard both sides speak.”
– Chiron

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“A rat who gnaws at a cat’s tail invites destruction.”
– Chinese Proverb

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue.”
– Confucius

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle.”
– Confucius

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.”
– Alice Cooper

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.”
– Albert Camus

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct.”
– Thomas Carlyle

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Shelving hard decisions is the least ethical course.”
– Adrian Cadbury

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Ending a sentence in a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.”
– Arthur C. Clarke

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”
– Bertha Calloway

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared to meet me is another matter.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“The easiest way to convince my kids that they don’t really need something is to get it for them.”
– Joan Collins

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“However much pride may go before a fall, it may be far more useful after one.”
– Benedict Carey

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Has anyone seen my shoes? I kicked them off in a fit of joy.”
– Dane Cook

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“America was born of revolt, flourished on dissent, became great through experimentation.”
– Henry Steele Commager

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Government does not grow by seizing our freedoms, but by assuming our responsibilities.”
– Michael Cloud

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion.”
– Mike Coleman

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.”
– Bobby Clarke

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“I had not correctly defined your attitude towards your tennants.”
– John Cleese

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“There are lots of things you can do to lessen the impact of spiralling fuel bills – all of which are dreary.”
– Jeremy Clarkson

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.”
– Confucius

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation.”
– James Freeman Clarke

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“Vote early and often.”
– Al Capone

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.”
– Confucius

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t …. ”
– George Carlin

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“I am not motivated by recognition, I just do things I like doing – racing, shagging, eating and drinking.”
– David Coulthard

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.”
– Winston Churchil

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.”
– Douglas Casey

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“Yes, clothes dryers are monsters, and more of them should be painted.”
– Graham Chapman

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ’27 months.’ ‘He’s two’ will do just fine. He’s not a cheese.”
– George Carlin

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“It is better to meet danger than to wait for it. He that is on a lee shore, and foresees a hurricane, stands out to sea and encounters a storm to avoid a shipwreck.”
– Charles Caleb Colton

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”
– George Carlin

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

“A man cannot make a pair of shoes rightly unless he do it in a devout manner.”
– Thomas Carlyle

Monday, March 8th, 2010

“Do not let spacious plans for a new world divert your energies from saving what is left of the old.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.”
– George Carlin

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

“When someone is impatient and says, “I haven’t got all day,” I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?”
– George Carlin

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

“The United States is like giant boiler. Once the fire is lighted under it, there is no limit to the power it can generate.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

“Reason and justice tell me there’s more love for humanity in electricity and steam than in chastity and vegetarianism.”
– Anton Chekhov

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

“What useless contraption are you half-baking today?”
– Cubert

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

“If you know, recognize that you know, If you don’t know, then realize that you don’t know: That is knowledge.”
– Confucius

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.”
– George Carlin

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.”
– George Carlin

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby — which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies.”
– John Cleese

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… That’s what gets you.”
– Jeremy Clarkson

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
– George Carlin

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“break at lunchtime when they all go to the pub for some bitter lemon and exaggeration”
– Jeremy Clarkson

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”
– Cyril Connolly

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Lady Astor: “Mr. Churchill, you’re drunk!”
Winston Churchill: “Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.”

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Lady Astor: “if I were married to you I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill: “if I were married to you, I’d drink it.”

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Sir Winston Churchill

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“Mr. Candy Bar doesn’t judge you, Chad. Mr. Candy Bar likes you just the way you are. Look at how yummy and sweet he is. …There you go. That’ll just be four dollars. …There you go.”
– Eric Cartman

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human achievement.”
– Jimmy Carter

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“It’s nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.”
– Graham Chapman

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“Work like you don’t need the money, Dance like no one looking.”
– Chinese Proverb

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“The beast in me is caged by frail and fragile bars.”
– Johnny Cash

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

“Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.”
- Winston Churchill

Monday, March 1st, 2010

“We decided to settle this argument … with a race!”
- Jeremy Clarkson

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

“It didn’t make any sense to me to be spending all this money when we don’t have it. It seems more logical to me that we create an atmosphere where private industry can start to grow again and create jobs,”
- Keli Carender

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

“Ending a sentence in a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

“Decide no suit, until you have heard both sides speak.” – Chiron

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston Churchill

Thursday, February 18th, 2010